Have you ever looked at another person's relationship and felt that they were on a completely different level than you? Have you asked yourself, what information and application is taking place in their house that is not taking place in my house? Let's face it; some people are operating with information that some of the rest of us do not have. There is a reason that Donald Trump could file bankruptcy ten times and still have more money than many of us. He has information and application. He has the information and he knows how, when, and where to apply it. Maybe I can assist you in getting past at least one hump in your life by giving you some encouraging information about relationships. Hopefully, it can help you to proceed to the next level in your relationship and your life. At the end of this document, my goal is to make you say, "huh, that WAS insightful".
For the sake of revelation, let us use the universal language known as math. Wait, don't leave! There will only be a few numbers for you socially gifted, yet mathematically un-inclined people. Let us do a social math problem, using hypothetical numbers. Let us say that the average couple has a lifespan of 100 months until death does them both part. Therefore, the goal is to reach the end of life(100 months) with the mate. Minor problems happen every day and all day, so we will not discuss them in this example.We will say that a couple has a big problem once a week. That is a big problem 4 times per month. You will have 400 big problems during the life of your relationship. Let us say that a couple has a huge problem 1 time a month. You will have 100 huge problems in the life of your relationship. A huge problem is actually equal to 4 big problems. Therefore, you can prevent a huge problem by addressing big problems. However, most people don't, and we can deal with that another time. So now, you acknowledge that you are highly probable to have 100 huge problems in life(4 Big Problems Per month).
What I want to do is talk about the progression of the huge problems and motivate you to get beyond them. Most people only survive 25% of the huge problems. That means that they are in a meaningful relationship only one quarter of their lives, or less, and they are solo, or in pursuit of happiness in other problematic relationships for 75% of their lives. It is a sad hypothetical truth. I'm just having fun but those numbers that I made up are much better than real life stats. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average marriage is lucky to exist for seven years. At least 5 of those are unhappy. The average dating relationship last only 2 years. That means that the average marriage is the average dating relationship, but with handcuffs. The average American life span is 70 to 80 years. If you are only married for 7 of those years, that is only 10 percent of life. The other 90 is left to the pursuit of happiness in and out of 2 year dating relationships. That sucks. Maybe instead of dating, you should be waiting! However, that is a also a subject for another day. I will get back to it.
I desire to cut in to those numbers of huge problems and big problems that cause relationships not to survive. There are many options and techniques that a couple could use to prosper in the world of relationship existence. This is not a book, so i am only going to mention one for right now. If you like it, then take it and use it. If you don't, you can go to use some other technique. LOL. I have dubbed it with the title Correlative Journaling. This is a journaling relationship that is reciprocated by two people. If you look up the word correlative, you will see its depth. Women have been journaling for years, but it is a gay word to most men. This is great for women but it is only one dimensional. That is because it helps her to feel better and express herself. Those bottled up feelings are released. Good old journal or diary rescues the mind. It would be multidimensional if it would have resolved other problems for the female. It usually does not. The female needs the male to respond, react, or communicate in some form. Even when the outcome is bad, she would still prefer clarity rather than a closed channel of communication.
Men are typically weak at expressing their inner consciousness. If a man is reading this and values his relationship, I urge you to try it for just a little bit. Give me 30 days, and you will see progress. Either you will be on the way to closure or on the way to great results. Either way, you will not remain in that place that feels like the dessert of relationships. That is when no one is talking to one another and every conversation seems as hard as nails. Therefore, you just don't talk. If you were truly in the dessert, this is the part where the sand man comes in. Why? It is because this particular relationship is on its way to sleep. It will seem like a never ending nightmare, or better yet, a coma. Everything that seems "touchy feely" is not gay. We are not neanderthals. Thus, we must learn to communicate effectively. Try expressing yourself through Correlative Journaling.
limit to two entries per week, or the man will shut down from intimidation and overwhelming verbiage. There must be a minimum of one entry per week, or the man will choose to do it like once per month. The entry should reflect the day or the week in your relationship. I don't condone writing issues down as a cop out. However, if either person feels like they are in a mental place where they cannot discuss it openly, then place a brief of the issue in the journal. Since it is free to read, it may spark communication. That is one of the goals. Express what normally does not get expressed. The book can be used to address issues, but also to leave loving notes as well. The idea is not to have in depth communication through a journal, but to spark conversation that may not otherwise come about. It allows every feeling to be released rather than bottled up. Most importantly, it puts couples in position to continually develop communication. You will eventually wind up either divorced(from clarity and closure rather than stagnation), or you will wind up as a high powered communicative couple.
I urge everyone to try my technique of Correlative Journaling for at least 30 days. It is not for negative mudslinging. Yet, it is for busting through the mud that is obviously there. If you are tired of feeling like there is a 100 pound demon in the room or that your relationship is sweltering in the dessert, try this. What do you have to lose? There is always another level to go to in every relationship. That level is different for every couple. Never the less, we should all strive to get on that other level.
